Yeah, that's right.
Eat it January.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sittin' On It
Perhaps it was Sir Francois Bacon who said it best: work sucks, dude. Also, life's a beach.
Then he stole my wallet. I should have never let him in my house to begin with. I'm not even sure he was a really knighted. I mean, he was like 19, and selling magazine subscriptions.
So I work with three 20 year-olds. We'll call them Huey, Dewey, and Frank. Well, all three were in my office when one brought up Richie Cunningham. Y'know, from Happy Days. His professor had mentioned Richie Cunningham during a lecture, and he said Huey said "I thought it was weird that he made a Donnie Darko reference." At which point I looked at him like this:
He was thinking of Jim Cunningham, played by Patrick Swayze. Not that I knew this at the time, though I'd seen this Donnie Darko of which he spoke. So I said "that's weird. I don't remember that name, but it's also the name of the kid from Happy Days."
To which he replied, "what's the Happy Days."
To which I replied "what?"
Two out of three hadn't heard of this "Happy Days". This got me all twisted up. "You know, Happy Days, with The Fonz?"
"C'mon, The Fonz?"
How do you explain all that is Arthur Fonzerelli to someone? "Okay, so the show is like, all about how good the 50's were, right? Like That 70's show came out in the 90's, this was like that but in the 70's about the 50's. And Fonzi? He's a total badass, right? But he's not a badass like, I mean, he's a total badass in that he's cool but he's totally got a heart of gold, right? And, I mean, he lives over Richie Cunningham's garage."
"So who's Richie Cunningham?"
"He's, y'know, uh, Opie? Directed Apollo 13. Narrates Arrested Development?"
"Opie, from that Mayberry show?"
"Yeah! That's the one. The Andy Griffith Show. Anyway, the Fonz was like, the coolest guy in town. He had greased up hair and a leather jacket and he could bang anything with his fist and it'd just work like magic and he'd go 'Eyyyyyy' and put his thumbs up like this and then snap his fingers and put his arms out and a couple of girls would just show up and I'm pretty sure they'd go have relations but y'know he'd be tender and respectful and all because he's a good guy."
"Eyyyyyyy!"
Then he stole my wallet. I should have never let him in my house to begin with. I'm not even sure he was a really knighted. I mean, he was like 19, and selling magazine subscriptions.
So I work with three 20 year-olds. We'll call them Huey, Dewey, and Frank. Well, all three were in my office when one brought up Richie Cunningham. Y'know, from Happy Days. His professor had mentioned Richie Cunningham during a lecture, and he said Huey said "I thought it was weird that he made a Donnie Darko reference." At which point I looked at him like this:
He was thinking of Jim Cunningham, played by Patrick Swayze. Not that I knew this at the time, though I'd seen this Donnie Darko of which he spoke. So I said "that's weird. I don't remember that name, but it's also the name of the kid from Happy Days."
To which he replied, "what's the Happy Days."
To which I replied "what?"
Two out of three hadn't heard of this "Happy Days". This got me all twisted up. "You know, Happy Days, with The Fonz?"
"C'mon, The Fonz?"
How do you explain all that is Arthur Fonzerelli to someone? "Okay, so the show is like, all about how good the 50's were, right? Like That 70's show came out in the 90's, this was like that but in the 70's about the 50's. And Fonzi? He's a total badass, right? But he's not a badass like, I mean, he's a total badass in that he's cool but he's totally got a heart of gold, right? And, I mean, he lives over Richie Cunningham's garage."
"So who's Richie Cunningham?"
"He's, y'know, uh, Opie? Directed Apollo 13. Narrates Arrested Development?"
"Opie, from that Mayberry show?"
"Yeah! That's the one. The Andy Griffith Show. Anyway, the Fonz was like, the coolest guy in town. He had greased up hair and a leather jacket and he could bang anything with his fist and it'd just work like magic and he'd go 'Eyyyyyy' and put his thumbs up like this and then snap his fingers and put his arms out and a couple of girls would just show up and I'm pretty sure they'd go have relations but y'know he'd be tender and respectful and all because he's a good guy."
"Eyyyyyyy!"
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Why Do I Do the Things I Do?
I've been chatting with my aunt all evening. Somewhere along the line I decided to start entering random ASCII codes in during our chat. (in an email or a word processor or something where you can type, hold alt and press a few numbers. For example: alt + 155 = ¢. Did I just blow your mind, or was that just gas?)
When she mentioned these mystery symbols, I claimed not to see them or know what she was talking about, and in this way, I was entertained.
Like the time I took my friend's expansive CD collection and used scotch tape to secure each shut. Not a lot mind you. Just a short piece down the middle of the widest part, so you could get the corners up before they snapped shut. And why scotch tape? Well, because it's clear of course. Oh, and the integral part is picking enough random CDs that it's a regular nuisance, but not so many that it prompts the victim to search every one.
Oh, to be evil.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
1st Day: Harshing the Mellow
Not working for four weeks then starting back right in the middle of things is like binge drinking for nine hours. Except the hangover starts a few hours in, and instead of drinking tasty liquor and feeling merry, you're drinking emails and reservations and feeling like someone took sandpaper to your brain.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I'm Mike D and I'm Back From the Dead
It's been so long since I've written a substantive post here that if we've only been keeping in touch via this blog, there's no way to really catch up. The list of people this applies to is woefully long: friends, relatives, there are many folks whom I've been negligent in keeping in touch. Of course, those folks also know that this is nothing new, that I've a pattern of falling off the map with tide-like regularity.
Also, I have a half-hour, well 25 minutes now actually, before the Dark Mistress comes home and we go out to eat. We're celebrating the passing of my winter break. In the next, uh, 23 minutes, I hope to sum up what I've been up to lately.
As my previous post alluded to, I sent in all the needed materials for my MFA applications on December 8th, the deadline I'd set for myself. Ahh! I just spilled corn husker's lotion all over myself! 21 minutes!
On the beginning of my last day of work December 18th actually, I decided to pop into the English building, having seen my Professor's car in the lot. He happened to be in, and I learned that he and his wife suffered a horrible personal loss, which is why he was so hard to get a hold of this semester.
Over the course of the nest few weeks I'd get various notices from schools that they hadn't received the letters of recommendation from my professors. As of last week, I've sent 5 or 6 emails out to them (the professors), and I'm done. They're adults, they're professionals, and if emailing them doesn't work, what else can I do? It's break, so it's not like I can track them down in their offices.
After work ended, I hung up my hat for some serious and long needed decompression. It actually began with a bit of depression. Applying to MFA programs had been my sole purpose since the summer. It was incredibly stressful, but it also shut up that little voice in the back of my head that always says things like "what you're doing isn't important", "how is this bettering yourself in any way?", "you're going to end up a boring nobody that no-one cares about unless you get off the couch". (Those voices, by the way, are counter-productive)
Shit! 11 Minutes.
Well, anyway, I got through the slump by working on a craft project and ended up coming to a sense of calm and accomplishment. One of my biggest sources of anxiety in my post-college life was how hard it is to find the time to do the things that are important to me, the things that make me feel like I am doing something important. Well, for one, applying to MFA programs involved a lot of research, reading, and writing. I had to do it while also helping the Dark Mistress move in, cooking, and cleaning (though not as much as I suppose I should), and working. My life wasn't in a good balance necessarily, but I managed to find the time to do it. And it was much, much harder than doing those things I like to do, like writing.
Second, I came to appreciate how much I really do love writing and why. I won't go into it here, but it feels like the past several years of my life have I slowly worked towards realizing that I'm happiest with life, and myself, when I'm being creative. When I'm trying to make something beautiful or striking or at least fun. It's something that seems pretty obvious to my friends, I don't know why it took me so long to figure out.
Lets see, 6 minutes. Other highlights from break:
The house is driving the Mistress and I nuts. It's so cluttered. We've simply run out of room to put things, and that means there's a lot still unpacked. We've made some great progress though. The living room is slowly becoming a nice place to be, and just today I cleaned up the Middle bedroom, which was a re-god-dammed-diculous disaster, rivaled only by those people with mental illnesses who can't manage to throw anything away.
The Mistress and I watched The Ballad of Jack and Rose, Into the Wild, and finished the series Six Feet Under, the finale of which had us both sobbing for what felt like a half hour. Assholes. I cut up my first whole chicken to make a crock pot recipe that was basically chicken, spices, zucchini, and broth. (It was delicious).
AHH! I'm out of time! We had an awesome new years, I played many video games, drank a fair amount of liquor, saw old friends, and ate out perhaps a little too much, but hey, it was winter break, man.
Maybe there'll be a part II tomorrow, maybe not.
Also, I have a half-hour, well 25 minutes now actually, before the Dark Mistress comes home and we go out to eat. We're celebrating the passing of my winter break. In the next, uh, 23 minutes, I hope to sum up what I've been up to lately.
As my previous post alluded to, I sent in all the needed materials for my MFA applications on December 8th, the deadline I'd set for myself. Ahh! I just spilled corn husker's lotion all over myself! 21 minutes!
On the beginning of my last day of work December 18th actually, I decided to pop into the English building, having seen my Professor's car in the lot. He happened to be in, and I learned that he and his wife suffered a horrible personal loss, which is why he was so hard to get a hold of this semester.
Over the course of the nest few weeks I'd get various notices from schools that they hadn't received the letters of recommendation from my professors. As of last week, I've sent 5 or 6 emails out to them (the professors), and I'm done. They're adults, they're professionals, and if emailing them doesn't work, what else can I do? It's break, so it's not like I can track them down in their offices.
After work ended, I hung up my hat for some serious and long needed decompression. It actually began with a bit of depression. Applying to MFA programs had been my sole purpose since the summer. It was incredibly stressful, but it also shut up that little voice in the back of my head that always says things like "what you're doing isn't important", "how is this bettering yourself in any way?", "you're going to end up a boring nobody that no-one cares about unless you get off the couch". (Those voices, by the way, are counter-productive)
Shit! 11 Minutes.
Well, anyway, I got through the slump by working on a craft project and ended up coming to a sense of calm and accomplishment. One of my biggest sources of anxiety in my post-college life was how hard it is to find the time to do the things that are important to me, the things that make me feel like I am doing something important. Well, for one, applying to MFA programs involved a lot of research, reading, and writing. I had to do it while also helping the Dark Mistress move in, cooking, and cleaning (though not as much as I suppose I should), and working. My life wasn't in a good balance necessarily, but I managed to find the time to do it. And it was much, much harder than doing those things I like to do, like writing.
Second, I came to appreciate how much I really do love writing and why. I won't go into it here, but it feels like the past several years of my life have I slowly worked towards realizing that I'm happiest with life, and myself, when I'm being creative. When I'm trying to make something beautiful or striking or at least fun. It's something that seems pretty obvious to my friends, I don't know why it took me so long to figure out.
Lets see, 6 minutes. Other highlights from break:
The house is driving the Mistress and I nuts. It's so cluttered. We've simply run out of room to put things, and that means there's a lot still unpacked. We've made some great progress though. The living room is slowly becoming a nice place to be, and just today I cleaned up the Middle bedroom, which was a re-god-dammed-diculous disaster, rivaled only by those people with mental illnesses who can't manage to throw anything away.
The Mistress and I watched The Ballad of Jack and Rose, Into the Wild, and finished the series Six Feet Under, the finale of which had us both sobbing for what felt like a half hour. Assholes. I cut up my first whole chicken to make a crock pot recipe that was basically chicken, spices, zucchini, and broth. (It was delicious).
AHH! I'm out of time! We had an awesome new years, I played many video games, drank a fair amount of liquor, saw old friends, and ate out perhaps a little too much, but hey, it was winter break, man.
Maybe there'll be a part II tomorrow, maybe not.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
