1: Why do people freak out when I put my merchandise behind them on the conveyor without putting a divider down? When I was a child I delighted in watching people use the magic My Stuff/Your Stuff-Stick, loving how all agreed to it's order and rule. Nowadays, if there's a line, I'll cram my stuff as close to the next person's and I'll use the stick. But when it's just two of us, I leave a gap. Yet, when I did so today, the older gentleman in front of me nervously fumbled for a bar, though he could not find one. I just assume the cashier can perceive the border between our goods what with the foot and a half gap I left between them. And even in there is confusion, is it a big deal to say "I'm sorry, that's his"? I sense this is more about personal space and comfort zones than it is about practicality. It'd be interesting to conduct a study to see how close you can put your stuff to another person's before they show signs of agitation.
2: Do I, driving in the parking lot of Taco Bell, two chalupas in my hand, look like I want to buy a home theater system? I was about to park and enjoy some early springtime air, good mix CD tunes, and my aforementioned fast faux-Mexican food, when a couple of guys driving an SUV come to a jerking halt beside me. "HAAAAY!" says the one who looks vaguely like David Arquette with an expression of excitement that far outstrips anything socially acceptable. "Would you be interested in buying a home theater system? Our company got one free!"
This is an old, old scam, and I've been targeted with variations on two other occasions. The first time, I was 16 and on Main Street of my hometown when someone asked me if I wanted to buy these great speakers he had in his trunk. Like, $500 speakers, but I could have them for $200. See, his company was going to deliver them to someone's house but turns out, they were ordered by mistake! So like, free speakers, right?! I remember being very attracted to his offer and bemoaning my lack of cash. I'm thinking it's probably a good thing most 16 year olds don't roll around town with hundreds wadded up in their jeans pockets. (At least none of the 16 year olds I hung with did.)
The second time I was older (and a touch wiser). I was walking along campus when a couple of dudes in a cargo van asked me if I wanted a deal on some cheap speakers. Same deal: mistakenly ordered, already paid for, they can't go back to the warehouse with them. At least they had a commercial looking vehicle. The guys today, though they both had jumpsuits that looked like uniforms, were driving an X-Terra that, while not as creepy as a white windowless cargo van (I should know, I used to drive one), just does not look like a company delivery vehicle. When I declined their offer, they drove off, with the Arquettesque passenger never breaking his frantically ecstatic grimace.
3: Why is it that nine times out of ten, when I see Prius on the Highway, it is passing me? I assume one of the main reasons for buying a Prius is for it's fuel efficiency, is it not? Do the drivers realize that doing 70 is a fairly reliable way to get shit gas mileage, hybrid or not?
4: There's a listing on our classified system (same one I got the organ and the iMac through): "I have a 80% new bike to sell. Price is 29 dollars."
...what?
80%... new? How, I mean, I can't even begin to think of how one would measure this! What does that mean? Like, at what rate does newness decrease with use? Is it percentage newness per hour use? Per mile? Do accidents or dropping the bike or leaving out in the rain take points off? Is it a new bike, but the seller replaced the wheels and seat with used ones? How do you determine percentage then? By weight? WTF is 80% of a bike?! My head is going to explode trying to make sense of this! And the best part: for twenty nine dollars! Not thirty, not twenty five. An 80% new bike is worth twenty nine dollars. I'm having flashbacks to those nightmare math test questions.
(15pts) Geraldo is riding his 80% new bicycle (worth $29) from home, and is traveling northwest at an average rate of 15 k/hr. His sister, Monique, is riding her bike, which is 90% new, in the opposite direction, from school. If Geraldo and Monique's school is 7 kilometers away from their home, and they both start riding at the same time, at what rate must Monique ride her bike so that she meets Gerald halfway? How new will her bike be when they meet? How much will it be worth? Show your work:
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2 comments:
1. I rarely use the divider and always get the attitude from the person in front. However, I tend to attract the person who climbs up my ass from behind.
2. My friend fell for that with a computer and it was a box of phone books.
3. Prius drivers are pretentious.
4. Monique must pedal at 70 nautical knots. Her bike will be 88% new and it will be worth $47.68. equations available upon request.
Im with you on the Prius comment. They are only driven by idiots who use the term 'Carbon Footprint'.
I'm sure no emmissions are um, emitted during the making of a Prius, and again, none emitted when your perfectly ok petrol/diesel car is scrapped because you wanted to pretend you are saving the world.
Also, re: the bike, im thinking maybe its brand new with old wheels? Or maybe it has no wheels and its 80% of an old bike. These people need to be clear.
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