Chat with Aunt: "All Aboard!"

Laurie: So my friend Criss has a new phrase that I need you to spread.
me: Shit in a Philly?
Laurie: It's--Awesome Train, as in "The awesome train is making express stops only on the way to Emoville."
The Awesome Train is totally green. It runs on coolness.
me: Hmm.. explain further so I know explicitly how to use it
Laurie: It's a train full of awesome. How much more explanation does one need?
Don’t get in the way of the awesome train cause youre gonna get fucking run over.
Like if someone is trying to rain on your parade.
me: Is the subject of the awesome ironic or truly a thing to appreciate
Laurie: the latter.
although, I suppose it could go either way.
me: Let me see if I've got it right.
I was going to be on the Price is Right, but instead I lost my arm because I was waving it out the window of The Awesome Train
Even though I was told explicitly not to do so.
Laurie: you may be overthinking it.
me: Hmm.
Laurie: Next time you cosy up to the Dark Mistress say, "I hope you're ready because the Awesome Train just pulled into the station for a two hour layover." or something like that.
me: How about; I was driving across a railroad crossing and my car stalled and I heard a whistle and I jumped out right before my car got hit by The Awesome Train.
But it was okay because the train was carrying Kittens and so I got one and that's kind of cool.
Laurie: See, you'd want to be hit by the Awesome Train. YOU are the Awesome Train.
See the train. Be the train.
me: Would they show TV on the Awesome Train?
Would they show reruns of MASH?
Laurie: Only themost awesome programs
sure
me: That show was pretty good, but it might be too dark for the Awesome Train.
How about this;
Laurie: Here's the official word on TV: it would be real world road rules challenge all the time
That comes from Criss
me: I just missed the Peace Train, so I'll have to take the Awesome Train instead. And now I need to get my tickets changed, but I think it's okay, because Awesome Train tickets are cheaper.
Laurie: You're getting there.
Less wordy.
me: Awesome Train impregnated my cat and gave me a delicious burrito?
Laurie: Criss says:
they are not for sale buddy
Criss says:
minnie drivier hands them out
Criss says:
in the lobby
me: Awesome Train earned me an online degree in Criminal Justice?
Laurie: You may not be ready for the awesome train.
~fin~